You know, it's kind of comforting, knowing that I can write whatever I want, and the odds are that no one is reading it. I feel rather liberated.
Bananas.
Porpoises.
Banana-shaped porpoises.
Holy crap.
At this point, anyone who might have accidentally stumbled across my blog will be completely turned off, and won't read any further. Hooray!
-If a tree fell on a mime in the forest, and no one was around, would the mime make a sound?
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Blog #3: Atheism
***This blog entry may not be suitable for religious fanatics, members of any religious organization whatsoever, Sarah Palin (see religious fanatics), Jehovah's Witnesses (that's why I don't list my address), and reincarnated Gila monsters***
Welcome back, nonexistent viewers. Blogs are probably the loneliest form of mass communication, because you know exactly how many people are out there reading/commenting on your painstakingly crafted social commentary. And at this point, that number amounts to NONE. I guess I chose my blog name well...
Anyway, I titled this blog atheism, so by NED (Non-Existent Deity) I will comment on atheism!
I'm for it.
End of blog.
What, you're still nonexistently reading?
As you may have gathered from my blasphemy, I am an atheist, which should not be confused with being an agnostic. I agree with the late Douglas Adams (author of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) in that I am convinced that there is no God. That is my belief. You are welcome to yours.
And, just to alienate the few potential individuals who are still reading, I also happen to be somewhat anti-religious. Now, I don't hate religions, I don't want to eradicate them, I just believe that they are an easier way out. It seems much easier to believe that there is a reason for us to exist and be "good," as opposed to realizing that we are a mass of organic material that ceases to function in less than 100 years.
But then, why be "good?" I've pondered this quite a lot recently (speaking in Spanish, no less!) and I can't seem to come up with a good answer. Maybe that's the basis of religion; to ensure that everyone helps to eliminate the suffering in others. If that's the case, then there appear to be a few bugs in the system.
I don't know. I think I am a "good" person, by my definition anyway. I try not to infringe on anyone else's right to life, liberty, and a blissful dogmatic existence. I don't kill people. I don't steal. Okay, I lie sometimes, but- no, justification is bad and can lead to moral decay. I lie sometimes. Period. (Heh, that's like three periods in a row.)
Is it possible to be good and self-serving? In a life-threatening situation, would I throw myself in front of a stranger?
I don't know.
Crap, this is getting really depressing.
Alternative blasphemy for the atheist geek:
"By Mishakal's Disks!" (From Dragonlance)
Gods/Pelor/NED dammit
"Mithros, Mynos, and Shakith!" (The Immortals series, by Tamora Pierce)
Crystal Dragon Jesus! (From TV Tropes.org)
By all things good and holy and some that aren't
Oh my Goddess
WWSCD? What would St. Cuthbert Do? (Or Thor, from Order of the Stick)
Space! (Asimov)
For Paladine's sake!
Here's what I wrote a couple weeks ago around 1 am after trying an energy drink for the first time:
"Holy egg-bearing chicken mother of Jesus monkey balls on a f---ing pogo stick in Nebraska!"
Not that I have anything against Nebraskans.
-Does a diagnostic doubt the existence of two gods?
Welcome back, nonexistent viewers. Blogs are probably the loneliest form of mass communication, because you know exactly how many people are out there reading/commenting on your painstakingly crafted social commentary. And at this point, that number amounts to NONE. I guess I chose my blog name well...
Anyway, I titled this blog atheism, so by NED (Non-Existent Deity) I will comment on atheism!
I'm for it.
End of blog.
What, you're still nonexistently reading?
As you may have gathered from my blasphemy, I am an atheist, which should not be confused with being an agnostic. I agree with the late Douglas Adams (author of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) in that I am convinced that there is no God. That is my belief. You are welcome to yours.
And, just to alienate the few potential individuals who are still reading, I also happen to be somewhat anti-religious. Now, I don't hate religions, I don't want to eradicate them, I just believe that they are an easier way out. It seems much easier to believe that there is a reason for us to exist and be "good," as opposed to realizing that we are a mass of organic material that ceases to function in less than 100 years.
But then, why be "good?" I've pondered this quite a lot recently (speaking in Spanish, no less!) and I can't seem to come up with a good answer. Maybe that's the basis of religion; to ensure that everyone helps to eliminate the suffering in others. If that's the case, then there appear to be a few bugs in the system.
I don't know. I think I am a "good" person, by my definition anyway. I try not to infringe on anyone else's right to life, liberty, and a blissful dogmatic existence. I don't kill people. I don't steal. Okay, I lie sometimes, but- no, justification is bad and can lead to moral decay. I lie sometimes. Period. (Heh, that's like three periods in a row.)
Is it possible to be good and self-serving? In a life-threatening situation, would I throw myself in front of a stranger?
I don't know.
Crap, this is getting really depressing.
Alternative blasphemy for the atheist geek:
"By Mishakal's Disks!" (From Dragonlance)
Gods/Pelor/NED dammit
"Mithros, Mynos, and Shakith!" (The Immortals series, by Tamora Pierce)
Crystal Dragon Jesus! (From TV Tropes.org)
By all things good and holy and some that aren't
Oh my Goddess
WWSCD? What would St. Cuthbert Do? (Or Thor, from Order of the Stick)
Space! (Asimov)
For Paladine's sake!
Here's what I wrote a couple weeks ago around 1 am after trying an energy drink for the first time:
"Holy egg-bearing chicken mother of Jesus monkey balls on a f---ing pogo stick in Nebraska!"
Not that I have anything against Nebraskans.
-Does a diagnostic doubt the existence of two gods?
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Blog #2: On the subject of Twilight
***Disclaimer: I know that there are many, many blogs/articles dealing with (i.e. hating) Twilight, and I'm sure they are all better written than my own. But I have to try***
**Note: The phrase "shrieking masses" designates teenage and/or preteen (actually, how can you be teenage AND preteen. You'd have to be two ages at once) girls that would otherwise be drooling over celebrities, clothes, boys, makeup, and whatever else that I, as a geek, would not be interested in (okay, except for the boys. And the clothes. I'm kinda fond of clothes, because they make me more suitable for appearing in public). They are THE ENEMY. (The shrieking masses, that is, not the clothes.)
Because it's such a popular subject, I'd like to make my position clear with a brief statement: "DIE, STEPHANIE MEYER, DIE!" But not really, because I don't want the Feds to break into my house. Please realize that this is not a death threat. I don't want to go to jail. And I would never, ever, wish that someone die a horrible, painful death for stealing one of the few bits of subculture with which I could, as a geek, identify, and delivering it to the shrieking masses. Because that would be wrong.
Now, you, the unnamed, unfaced, nonexistent audience, might like to know how qualified I am to judge Twilight... and I will freely admit: Not very. I've only read the first book, mostly because I am too ashamed to own any others. And to be perfectly honest (which I rarely am... or am I?) I read "Twilight" with a very biased attitude. Now, if you happen to be one of the aforementioned shrieking masses, and would like to engage in a witty argument detailing why "Twilight" is awesome, I will have to ask that you "Shut up and go away!" But don't really, because I'm lonely.
The other day, my English teacher said something like "this may be nerdy, but it's sort of like Twilight," and I stood up (metaphorically) and said "No! You cannot associate nerds with Twilight!" Then there was an awkward silence, and we continued to discuss "The Scarlet Letter," sans the Twilight references.
I won't mention the obvious fact that the main character (see, I'm distancing myself by not saying her name) has NO self-reliance whatsoever, because that has already been masterfully portrayed in "Buffy vs. Edward" by Jonathan McIntosh).
But really, Twilight has stolen vampires from the geeks. Although, to be fair, we never actually had them. Let's make a list. Everything is better with lists! (Unless you can think of something that's not. Please let me know.)
Geeky:
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (because she actually SLEW vampires. Is it slew? Or slayed?)
Angel
Blood Ties (Books by Tanya Huff, and the short-lived TV series. Funny story about that: Me, my mom, and my grandmother all had the hots for the vampire, Henry Fitzroy. (Sorry Mr. Schmid). But it makes sense, right, because vampires span multiple generations.)
Dracula (the old one. Heh, he's really old, 'cause he's a vampire)
Vampire: The Masquerade
Van Helsing (The gods-awful movie, with Hugh Jackman. It's geeky because it's bad. Actually, it's just bad).
Not geeky:
Twilight
Undecided:
Anne Rice? I mean, it's more... well... I guess geeks would like that sort of thing... but it's written for... You know what, that's why it's undecided.
True Blood (it's popular, but I can't imagine the shrieking masses reading/watching it)
What do you think? (See how I'm pretending to care? My psychiatrist (i.e. my mom) tells me that I should take interest in the thoughts of other people, so that I won't be cast out of society.)
But really, I am interested. If you can figure out a way to contact me (I don't know if my email is on the profile, or if I have a "forum" per se (heh, like South Park)). Actually, if none of that stuff is available, and you still contact me, I'll be really freaked out. I've got my stakes and silver ready.
Wait, I didn't actually specify what I wanted you to tell me what you thought. And that was an awkward sentence. What I mean is, do you have any other vampire-related books/movies/TV series that I can add to my beautiful, beautiful list?
-Literary device rule #23: Repetition is for emphasis. Repetition is for emphasis. Repetition is for emphasis.
**Note: The phrase "shrieking masses" designates teenage and/or preteen (actually, how can you be teenage AND preteen. You'd have to be two ages at once) girls that would otherwise be drooling over celebrities, clothes, boys, makeup, and whatever else that I, as a geek, would not be interested in (okay, except for the boys. And the clothes. I'm kinda fond of clothes, because they make me more suitable for appearing in public). They are THE ENEMY. (The shrieking masses, that is, not the clothes.)
Because it's such a popular subject, I'd like to make my position clear with a brief statement: "DIE, STEPHANIE MEYER, DIE!" But not really, because I don't want the Feds to break into my house. Please realize that this is not a death threat. I don't want to go to jail. And I would never, ever, wish that someone die a horrible, painful death for stealing one of the few bits of subculture with which I could, as a geek, identify, and delivering it to the shrieking masses. Because that would be wrong.
Now, you, the unnamed, unfaced, nonexistent audience, might like to know how qualified I am to judge Twilight... and I will freely admit: Not very. I've only read the first book, mostly because I am too ashamed to own any others. And to be perfectly honest (which I rarely am... or am I?) I read "Twilight" with a very biased attitude. Now, if you happen to be one of the aforementioned shrieking masses, and would like to engage in a witty argument detailing why "Twilight" is awesome, I will have to ask that you "Shut up and go away!" But don't really, because I'm lonely.
The other day, my English teacher said something like "this may be nerdy, but it's sort of like Twilight," and I stood up (metaphorically) and said "No! You cannot associate nerds with Twilight!" Then there was an awkward silence, and we continued to discuss "The Scarlet Letter," sans the Twilight references.
I won't mention the obvious fact that the main character (see, I'm distancing myself by not saying her name) has NO self-reliance whatsoever, because that has already been masterfully portrayed in "Buffy vs. Edward" by Jonathan McIntosh).
But really, Twilight has stolen vampires from the geeks. Although, to be fair, we never actually had them. Let's make a list. Everything is better with lists! (Unless you can think of something that's not. Please let me know.)
Geeky:
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (because she actually SLEW vampires. Is it slew? Or slayed?)
Angel
Blood Ties (Books by Tanya Huff, and the short-lived TV series. Funny story about that: Me, my mom, and my grandmother all had the hots for the vampire, Henry Fitzroy. (Sorry Mr. Schmid). But it makes sense, right, because vampires span multiple generations.)
Dracula (the old one. Heh, he's really old, 'cause he's a vampire)
Vampire: The Masquerade
Van Helsing (The gods-awful movie, with Hugh Jackman. It's geeky because it's bad. Actually, it's just bad).
Not geeky:
Twilight
Undecided:
Anne Rice? I mean, it's more... well... I guess geeks would like that sort of thing... but it's written for... You know what, that's why it's undecided.
True Blood (it's popular, but I can't imagine the shrieking masses reading/watching it)
What do you think? (See how I'm pretending to care? My psychiatrist (i.e. my mom) tells me that I should take interest in the thoughts of other people, so that I won't be cast out of society.)
But really, I am interested. If you can figure out a way to contact me (I don't know if my email is on the profile, or if I have a "forum" per se (heh, like South Park)). Actually, if none of that stuff is available, and you still contact me, I'll be really freaked out. I've got my stakes and silver ready.
Wait, I didn't actually specify what I wanted you to tell me what you thought. And that was an awkward sentence. What I mean is, do you have any other vampire-related books/movies/TV series that I can add to my beautiful, beautiful list?
-Literary device rule #23: Repetition is for emphasis. Repetition is for emphasis. Repetition is for emphasis.
Blog #1: Hello, is anyone out there?
***Skip this first entry if you just want to read pithy commentary about life as seen from the myopic eyes of a nerd***
Hi... I'm not quite sure why I decided to make a blog. It was actually sort of spontaneous; two minutes ago, I was sitting at my computer, ostensibly doing English/Biology/Spanish/Math homework when I decided that it would be a pretty neat idea to write a blog. So here I am. Ostensibly doing Biology/English/Math/Spanish homework. (See, now it's in alphabetical order).
So why am I writing this blog?
-Now, back to Math/Spanish/Biology/English.
Hi... I'm not quite sure why I decided to make a blog. It was actually sort of spontaneous; two minutes ago, I was sitting at my computer, ostensibly doing English/Biology/Spanish/Math homework when I decided that it would be a pretty neat idea to write a blog. So here I am. Ostensibly doing Biology/English/Math/Spanish homework. (See, now it's in alphabetical order).
So why am I writing this blog?
- Familiarity. I write in a journal every day. Almost every day. If you went through my journal (but seriously, don't, because then I'd have to do something nasty to you and/or your family) you would see that every single day has an entry. But that just means I'm a hypocrite, because sometimes I write entries retroactively.
- Ego. There are probably few things more egotistical than writing a blog, which is basically a way to vent your opinions and pretend that someone is listening. Some of these things include: Naming your child (your name) jr; Naming someone else's child (your name) jr; Naming a street/town/country/continent/planet (your name) jr (but only if you are rich and/or powerful); running for President. (Not that I have anything against presidents. But you've got to admit that by running for president, you're basically saying that you believe that you are THE ONE AND ONLY person that can bring this hellhole of a country around. So... yeah.)
- Loneliness. It's kind of funny, because I'm the last person who would admit to be "yearning for human connection," but "well, there it is." (Yup, I just quoted Amadeus. Actually, it was Emperor Joseph II.) I'll expand on this idea some other time.
- Sarcasm. (Wait, what?) Yeah, that's right, I am writing a blog because of sarcasm. And that totally makes a lot of sense.
- College. I'm a junior in high school. Pretty soon, colleges will be looking for me. But they'll never find me, see, 'cause I'll be hiding under my bed. They (being counselors, teachers, parents, and other venerable adults) suggest that you not put anything compromising on the internet, like pictures of yourself. Doing anything. At all. I'm hoping (in that little naive part of my brain that is still waiting for that letter from Hogwarts that's five years overdue) that maybe, if I can write a blog that is profound and well-written (or profoundly well-written) I might be able to stand out. (See point #2: Ego).
-Now, back to Math/Spanish/Biology/English.
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